Sunday 5 June 2011

NO! when 'permissive' winks at 'assertive'

'I was wondering if you could...'
'I have been through a lot lately and I need...'
'What can I do without you...'
'I can only trust your judgement so please...'
'You really can spare some time for my...'
'I know you love God and will like to help people so...'
'Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while but i need you to...'

Do these lines sound familiar? Lol
At one point or the other we may have used those slippery manipulative lines for a sibbling, friend, parent, hobby or even grandma/grandpa.
Or maybe you know some sweet,snuggly person who is fond of using those lines.

At the back of your mind are biblical principles of 'Love being the more excellent way'
'Do good to all men especially those of the household of faith' 
We could go on and on...but here's the point when the 'permissive manipulator' winks at the 'assertive'.

One of my inspiring friends 'Darlyn' humorously wrote in a recent mail that even Jesus was assertive.
The two letter word No! is a must have to subdue any subtle manipulation.

Have you ever wondered why God made us in His image,loves us unconditionally,sacrificed His only begotten son to pay for our sins yet leaves us with a vital tool: THE POWER OF CHOICE???
Oh! so if our father isn't manipulative or controlling the trait must be from the other side...
Did i just say from the other side? guys lemme be frank with you it's D-E-V-L-I-S-H!

 'Peer-pressure'....'Giving in to man-made doctrines'...'Brain wash' ,such manipulative words have been  coined into the social,religious and political settings but wrapped in a bit of emotional blackmail as 'gentleness' 'humility' 'meekness' 'amiable@all cost' 'easy going'. Be not decieved, there's a difference between timidity and humility.

So if saying No! gets you blacklisted today, that book might be the 'Guiness book of records' wrapped in black cardboard actually(lol...) but seriously,even Peter stood up in boldness prefering to honour God rather than men. I'd rather have my name in heaven's book of life.

To my fellow people pleasers...well I recently chose the smart assertive way but there's still this little sweet girl i give the eye signal to sit still until i beckon at some point(lol).And it feels so much lighter and I found my days more productive.Learn those two alphabets: 'N' for Noble and 'O' for Orange.

Victim of manipulation...check your motives dear,are u really interested in helping or its all about you?Common! Ur price is far above rubies.U really don't wanna get stuck with people who sulk and whine forever at assertiveness do you? So When next the permissive winks at the assertive peops, brace up,shoulders square and say No!

Let's remember to be polite and not aggressive though,but still spill out that word like you mean it..NO!!!


Have a fabulous week!!!

2 comments:

  1. Right sis,
    Don't grow a wish bone where you should have a backbone. Don't stand down and accept what you don't want to do, yeah you are a great person and all that but it is 100% noble and outstanding to say NO! with a smile or with a stern look as the situation calls for.

    You go girl!
    You really just nailed it, watch out world some assertive girls are on the roll!

    Have a fantastic week

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  2. Darlyn,u'r so right,assertiveness should not be found on the last page in every woman's dictionary afterall it starts with d very first alphabet,lol...

    ReplyDelete